Sunday, April 22, 2012

Need a loan?

Came across this article and both The Cowboy and I thought it was certainly blog-worthy and perhaps could apply to everyone – not just cancer patients:


Dr. Wendy Schain, a psychologist who counsels men and women who have had cancer, describes self-esteem as a set of bank accounts:

  • One account contains the net worth of your physical self – what your body can do and how you look.
  • The second account is your social self – how easily you get along with others and the emotional support you can count on.
  • In the third account is the total sum of your achieving self – what you have done in school, work, and personal and family relationships.
  • The fourth account is for your spiritual self – your religious and moral beliefs and the strength they give you.

During your life, you make deposits in your accounts, but when a crisis like cancer comes up, you must also make withdrawals. Going through cancer treatment has costs. It takes time, and may take away some of your physical ability to function. It can harm your relationships with others, your career goals, and sometimes your faith. When funds from one of your accounts become low, you may need a “loan” from one of the others to balance your account.

Try to be aware of the costs of cancer in your life. Make a special effort to get new deposits for the accounts that remain active. By doing so, a drain from one area of your self-worth will not bankrupt you entirely. If your cancer treatment has affected your looks, focus on the love and care you get from friends and family who react to you with a deep level of intimacy. If treatment interrupts your work, use some of your energy to enrich your social or spiritual life.

Although you may sometimes feel that all your accounts are getting low, a more careful look should reveal some areas where “income” is still flowing in.

There will be a follow up to this as we have many thoughts to share.

How about sharing some of yours?


  1. I don't think I'd have the strength to face cancer without Rich. I think his death depleted many of my accounts, and there's little "income". I don't think I would have much to draw on in a crisis. I admire those who do.

  2. My achieving self is doing I will be graduating with distinction in a few weeks! My social self account is overflowing as I am blessed with many great friends and family support. My spiritual self account had a huge deposit over the weekend with praise and worship at a Saturday evening service at church as well as a Surprise 50th bday party for the pastors wife on Sunday afternoon. We have a great church family. The only problem with my accounts is that I have TOO MUCH deposit in my physical self. It seems to keep getting deposits of junk food, sweet and salty snacks every night and comfort food - it could use some deposits of my Mom's home cooking so looking forward to that! My cup over floweth. I am rich. Love you both and if u need a lots here to borrow from!

  3. Wow, this has really made me stop and think today. What a great Post! I feel like I am temporarily depleted in some areas. having just buried my momma this past week, and all that goes along with that, My achieving self is way depleted. And socially right now except for my husband, and best girlfriend and my sister, I just want to curl up and retreat. I find my physical self like shygirl.... I just want to eat anything that tastes good.....Spiritually ...I'm good. I know my personal relationship with the Lord doesn't depend on feelings. I know He is right here beside me. Thanks for sharing this post with us today. It has made me sit up and take notice. Think, I'll go for a walk pretty soon :0)

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